The 'Comment' Section that I Just Discovered. Sorry all commenters.

Hailoo..

Well, basically, I just noticed the comment button at the blog-setting thingy. So, I just read some of the comments that had been posted years ago. Nak reply pun macam dah bertahun dah, too late bruh, too late.

Nak gelak dengan diri sendiri. Kah2

Sorry for not replying to your questions, comments, heart sharing semua la. hahahahahahahaha

Setelah Hidup Lebih Dari 23 tahun

Yes, you read it right. It has been years since I last wrote my blog post. Bukan bersawang, nak roboh dah ni.

Now I am in my fourth year in medical course. Alhamdulillah.. One and a half more years. Chaiyyok!

This week is my last rotation with OnG. Right now, I am feeling unmotivated. There are a lot of things to do, but, but, but, I feel like doing nothing.

So this year, a lot of thing happened. The most profound one is my father's death. He died due to myocardial ischemia. It was a sudden death. I was still in Ireland that time. So I didn't get a chance to see him getting buried with my own eyes. My half brother did sent some pictures. Alhamdulillah, everything went well. Few months after that, my step mother died. She was sick for a few years already. It was a heartbreaking event for my half siblings. I hope God give them strength to keep going.

So, yeah. There is a lot going on this year.

We never know when will our life end, so let us live a life without regret, in this life and hereafter.

Ciao

NEXT WEEK IS WINTER FINAL EXAM SECOND YEAR!

Assalamualaikum,,,,

Well, as you can see from the title of this post, it is about FINAL EXAM!!!!

Today is SATURDAY and final exam is on next MONDAY!!!!!

I'm going crazayyyyh.

Ya, sekarang aku basically tengah study sambil blogging sambil dengar lagu Fyn Jamal 'Terbang Tunduk' sambil headbanging bajet feel dengan lagu tu.

Apa perasaan aku sekarang? Sangat CUAKKK. Ini seriyes!

Sebab kan.... sebab kan....

Result CA FM21002 Renal sangat la hancus akibat dari study atas katil then setiap kali study tertidur makanya tak study dan banyak lecture notes yang tak baca. Makanya.. result physio hancus. Dan, aku pun sedikit sebanyak demotivated. BANYAK mungkin..

Aku sedar..... study tak tara mana.. Dan soalan final kot, mungkin susah.

Kenapa stress semacam? Sebab waktu first year aku dah repeat kot, so kalau tak lepas second year mungkin aku kena stop journey aku sampai sini je. Bayangkan.. dari buat medic jadi budak berhenti medic, dari budak oversea mungkin jadi budak berhenti belajar oversea, dari bergerak aktif kat sini jadi................ orang yang bawa reputasi buruk kat sini.

Kadang-kadang diri sendiri tak sedar yang diri ni banyak tanggungjawab. Tanggungjawab dengan Allah.... dengan family... dengan jemaah..... dengan diri sendiri.

Jangan give up.......... jangan give up.... bertahan.....

Pray for myself.

Learning about Depression..

Assalamualaikum..

Wow, what a depress title. Lol.

Well, my life always has it's ups and downs. And there's always problems that I have to face. That's life.. Just get over it.

But, couple of weeks ago, the way I handle them is quite.. not good. I didn't let go. I kept it instead. And the stress accumulated, until there's one point in my life that I feel I'm not being myself.

I look in the mirror but I see another person. Yes, the face is still the same but she's not Zakiah that I knew. The twinkles in her eyes are gone. There's only sadness and despair. And even when I don't perceive my problem as big as it was before, the gloom is still there. I'm sad.. yes, despair without any concrete reason!

I can cry anytime, for any reason. And I just want to escape, run away from everything. I treat a lot of people badly and feel terribly guilty after that.

Until one day when I can't hold on anymore I started to talk and let everything go, well, not really everything, but it's a good start. I found that my mental health is getting better.

It should have a happy ending, but you have to take note that I just pass a phase of depression, so the sadness doesn't go away just like that. I am still very fragile. I'm easily cracked and I always find my inner self breaking apart. And the cycle continues again and again.

But my heart is healing, slowly... insya Allah.

Whenever I feel I'm in the bad situation again, I just need to turn back to Him.

So if you feel the same, just turn back to Him, no matter how unappealing the idea is to you. But believe me, it always works :) with His will.

The Meaning of "Being Myself"

Assalamualaikum,

I once asked my friend, should I be gentle like her? Should I be soft-spoken and ladylike?

Then she answered me, just be yourself.

But now I'm in a dilemma. What exactly being myself means.

Is it means that I can do all the way I want?
But, if I just do things haughtily, it will be baaad.
What will people think of me, is it really proper?
What is my real intention? Or maybe I just want to show off?
Is it get in the way with others sensitivity?

Sigh..

There is a lot of thing to be think about when you started to become adult.

And I still don't find the meaning just yet.

Wassalam.

Tarbiah Babysitter

Assalamualaikum,

So, for more than a week, I changed my carrier from being a maid to a babysitter.

I like kids because they are cute. Awwwwh.... cliche answer!
One more reason why I like kids is because they are so clean and innocent, and you have the ability to paint them. You are their first teacher. You can influence them greatly. Positively.... or negatively.
And they are cute!

There is an easy way to to take care of kids. You  just make them do what you ask them to do by force. They may cry but who cares, it is easier for you.

But you can do it the other way. The haaaard way.

Give your kid a lot of love.

The parents, I used to think they spoiled the girl too much but hey, Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) taught us to treat kids kindly. I observe how they treat their child, how they didn't force their daughter to do anything they want but let she do willingly instead. Like taking bath.. etc. It is quite hard, but it gives good impact to the kid. She grows up happily and there are times when she can become such a sweetie.

I now learned about PATIENCE.

Patience is a virtue indeed. Patience needs time and maturity. Your patience will be tested constantly until your last breath.

When you take care of children, you will learn how to be patience with them when:

1) They want you to do what they want

2) They don't want to do what you ask them to do

3) When they make a mess and you clean it. Then they make a mess again

4) When you want to feed them and they are running and playing around

etc..... etc...

The key for everything?                 SABAR.

Wassalam..

Surviving a Heartbreak

Assalamualaikum..

You know, I once liked a guy very much. An average looking kind-hearted guy. I liked him because he is kind.. and nice.. and I could feel the chemistry between us. Kinda cute too (ssssshhhhh..)

And then.. I was told that he is not available. It means that I can't pursue him anymore.

When I first discovered about that, I was brokenhearted to my surprise. I even unfriend him on fb, how immature of me! I was not-so-quickly recovered. It's amazing how 'love' can cause such a pain.

But hey, I am still alive!

I analysed the reason why I liked him so much. So these are the reasons (maybe) :

1) I really rarely communicate with guys, but last year I need to deal with him about some business. So, yeah. Butterfly in my stomach.

2) He is really kind and it's quite rare to find a really nice guy like that. The kind that makes you feel secure if you want him to be your partner for life. Lol

3) We just 'clique'. Or am I the only one who feels like that? 

4) I thought that the feeling was mutual ! Well, I'm just the only one who feels like that.

It's okay, que sera sera.

But wait, I have a confession to make! Actually.. I do stalked him now and then. I even used my senior's fb account to stalk him. (Senorita, please log out of your fb account everytime you use my laptop)

Yes, it's fate that keeps us apart (Ceewah). And.. and.. I think he is too good for me. I myself know my weakness, my flaws....

Time heals... but I need more time.

I hope that he can find his happiness in this dunya and hereafter.

Wassalam.

Being A Maid

Assalamualaikum,

Although my blog is called BeingAPrincess, but sometimes, I can't escape being a maid.

What? I don't want to be a spoiled princess! Hewhew..

One of my senior fractured her leg a few weeks before her exam and my exam finished last week. So I got plenty of free time.... and here I am, a princess with an apron saving a damsel in distress.

Basically, what I did is:
1) sleep
2) cook
3) eat
4) refer number 1

My diet and my exercise regime has been neglected. And now I'm a yoghurt freak. Not the healthy yoghurt but the banana flavoured with choco balls kind of yoghurt.

It's fun staying here. Lot's of laughing buddies..... and delicious food.

Being a maid is not so bad....... although, I plan to hire a maid in the future.

Well, a Princess needs a maid!

A Princess Needs Her Prince

Assalamualaikum.....

What a controversial post title! Well, I can write anything I want. Hewhew..

Every girl has their own criteria in finding their prince charming.
When I was younger.. my criteria is handsome, rich, beriman. Well, I believe all the girls my age think like that.

Then, I get older and my criteria is someone who do the right thing at the right time to the right person. Wow..... so impossible right?

Then..  last year, my criteria is merely someone who have the same way of thinking with me. Se fikrah gitu...

Now, I realized that.. our fate, 'jodoh' has been planned by God and we will never can predict who is destined for us. We can't even be certain whether we will live for.. let's say, another 1 month?

Basically what I want to say is, my prince is my future husband. So, whoever your husband is, he is your prince! Simple as that.

p/s: But still, my type is someone who has chinese/oriental face and cute. Preferably tall and cool. Such an eye candy! (LOVE)

Wassalam..

What is My Life Goal?

Assalamualaikum..

Next week will be my final exam. I'm studying but I know I can do more. Work harder baby! (cheering on myself)

When we do something, we must have a goal. When we do something without a goal, seriously, why do you do that in the first place??

And as a muslim, my first nawaitu, intention, must be 'lillah', because of Allah.

For me, yes, because of Allah, but to make me able to get the vision, I need to be more specific.

Why do I study medicine, for what purpose am I wanting to pass the exam?

Specific.....

I want to be a good muslimah doctor, helping people who get injured, or sick, or unhealthy inside and outside,

I want to be an activist, become the voice of people who are being oppressed,

I want to be a good mother, so that I can raise a better human than myself, who loves Allah more than other else,

I want to raise money so that I can take care of my family, and help the poor,

I want to show to the world that Islam is a true religion, the perfect way of life, it is nothing than what they imagine. Islam is peace, Islam is harmony, Islam is happiness.

I want to become a doctor, an activist, a dai'e, a mother, and.... a servant of Him.

All these things, is just solely 'lillah'.

May my intention stays till the end.

Seeru 'ala barakatillah. <3

How My Blog Has Been Neglected for Years

Assalamualaikum,

Hi there. Well, I decided to make blogging my new hobby. This means that I will write and post new entry frequently.

Why? I just want to compile my memories because I'm a very forgetful person. Like seriously.

My exam will be next week. And I am like, soo unprepared.

I seriously don't know what to do. Nak study tapi cepat distracted. Asyik nak lagha je.......

Takut jugak. Takut fail lagi. Tapi usaha tak kemana.

Rabbi yassir wa la tu'assir

Bismillah....

Menjadi Diriku

Assalamualaikum..

Ni bukan blog yang berhabuk. Tapi dah usang nak runtuh ni. Haha..
Well.... bila dah ter occupied with Facebook and Instragram, memang tak terjenguk la blog.. huhu. Tambah-tambah bila dah ada gadget. Laptop tetiba jadi complicated untuk dibuka. Lol

For me, media sosial is very interesting. There's a lot of new things to be discovered. Memang tak ada batasan dunia virtual ni. Takkan habis untuk kalau kita nak teroka. Tapi... itulah. Ada benda yang tak perlu pun untuk kita tahu, tapi nak menyibuk jugak kan.. dush-dush

(Membetulkan jari untuk menaip)
Eksaited nak tulis blog. Sebab kat blog la boleh membebel panjang-panjang kan.. Tengah stress buat photobook ni.. huhu.

First time dengar lagu "Menjadi Diriku" oleh Edcoustic, rasa happy sangat sebab macam discover something yang boleh buat diriku..... happy. Menjadi diriku, walau apa adanya~

Dalam dunia ni, tak ada orang yang sempurna perfect. Tapi... dalam dunia ni juga, semua orang dilahirkan sempurna. Haaaa... contradict kan!

Actually.. what I mean is 'sempurna', dalam konteks diri dia. Semua orang cantik dari segi fizikal. Cuma dia sendiri yang kena maintain dan polish. Kalau tak usaha exercise makan makanan berkhasiat, memang la ada macam-macam masalah. Simple.

Semua orang dilahirkan suci comel luaran dan dalaman. Apa orang tua-tua cakap, macam kain putih suci gittew... tapi itulah, semakin meningkat usia, makin banyak anasir perosak. Macam makanan fast food yang akan meninggalkan lemak-lemak tak sihat di badan, macam itu jugalah tabiat-tabiat busuk yang dapat meninggalkan kekotoran pada hati.

Tapi.. well, semua orang sedang struggle. Hidup kita memang akan naik turun.

My point is..... bersyukur! Be happy with yourself! Tak cukup cerah? It's okay.. Tak cukup hot? Tak apa.. You are fine just the way you are.

Want to be healthier? better? More fit? Go ahead!

Jom jadi hamba Allah yang rajin berusaha!

Some Things Aren't Mean to be Used as Jokes..

Assalamualaikum w.b.t...........

Glad I'm making an effort to blog. :)

I had a problem before, or actually, still now. But I already find it's solution.

I like someone. He is a good person. Then I kinda tell everyone about it. I tend to speak about stuff confidently although it is not necessary true. Hmm... I should fix that bad habit. I just want things to be exciting, something interesting to talk about. Things are getting interesting, yes.  But I think I already went overboard.

Then, just now, a friend of mine ask me. If I really like him, don't I wanna do something about that? any action taken? Can I bear losing him because I did nothing?

Then it struck me.

Am I really serious about this? Will I be willing to take the next step of my life......... with him?

This feeling towards him, unfortunately, part of it is because it is interesting to like him, to discuss about this with my friend. I'm afraid that it's not pure attraction.

sigh.

Still, the pounding of my heart can't lie. The blushing on my cheeks does shows. And my wide smile......... it is something I can't hide.

Liking you, Mr, is something that I am grateful of.

Thank you. :)

Penangan 'Cinta'

Assalamualaikum,,

I don't know.. boleh tak guna blog untuk meluahkan duka lara di hati?
You know.... kadang2 tak suka tengok orang yang dibutakan matanya dek 'cinta'. Celupar je hati ni melekeh-lekehkan orang macam tu. Tapi ye lah kan, sebab tak kena penangan tu lagi so tak berani la cakap apa2.

Entah la.. memang semua orang akan kena penangan 'cinta' tu ke?

Sungguh daku tak suka kerana I am one of the people yang jadi korban penangan 'cinta' tu. Orang yang mamai sebab 'cinta', then aku masuk sekali dalam kancah permasalahan diorang. You know, I have no choice.

Tak suka bila batas dilanggar, tak suka kerana nafsu diagung-agungkan, tak suka bila dunia diutamakan.

Sekarang atau dulu, sama je. Sejahil-jahil aku, tahu yang hubungan tu ada something wrong. Terselit di hatiku, it is not right.

Tapi bagaimana aku untuk membetulkannya? Aku cuba memberontak, dan ia memakan diriku sendiri. Aku cuba menasihati, tapi ia ibarat masuk telinga kanan keluar telinga kiri.

Cinta apa itu bila orang lain tersepit menjadi mangsa? Cinta apa itu jika pentingkan diri itu polisi utama?

Memang, jika kita sayangkan seseorang, kita mesti bantu dia untuk bahagia. Tapi, aku tidak nampak adanya bahagia di situ. Beribu konflik yang tidak sudah, dari mana asalnya itu?

Entahlah...........

Wassalam

Ramadhan Yang Menduga

Assalamualaikum,

Ramadhan Kareem!

Ramadhan .: Bulan penuh barokah yang sangat ditunggu-tunggu oleh hamba-Nya yang soleh.

Ramadhan pada tahun ini,, secara jujurnya, I think it is better than last year. Apa yang better nya?
Banyak....... alhamdulillah.

Tatkala diri teringat saat2 mengharungi Ramadhan semasa SPM dahulu. Memang masa tu rasa the best moment of my life. Family pun ok sikit, hati pun lebih tenang. Mungkin sebab time tu nak perang exam kot, so jadi solehah lebih sikit. Bi'ah pun solehah je.. hati pun insya Allah bersih suci murni. Time tu cakap dengan family pun lemah lembut sopan bagai.

Sekarang ni, masya Allah dugaan agak menduga jugak la. Kesabaran dalam diri pun rasa tipis je. Ketenangan yang diharapkan sudah tidak dapat dirasai. rasa.. rasa.. heheh.

Sebab sekarang tengah fasa kena ujian, so still tak berapa nampak hikmah dan ibrah yang Allah nak ajar. Tak nampak pun takpe, I want to believe in Allah. Berjuang! Hiarghh!

Susah oh duduk sorang2 ni,, futur suka betul hinggap. Sobs..

at least, hafal doa 10 malam terakhir ye..

ok, Assalamualaikum ~~

Summer 2013

Assalamualaikum,,,,,

Blog ni dah bersawang kot, lama sudah tidak ku jenguk. Ampunkan daku wahai blog, kesibukan telah memisahkan kita (sibuk kononnya) ditambah dengan godaan FB, twitter dan manga yang kelihatan lebih menyeronokkan dari berblogging. Tapi serious, nyesal oh tak blog.

Update,
Jaulah summerku ke Rome, Pisa, Florence, Venice, Milan, Turin, Nice, Marseilles, dan Paris telahpun berjaya dikhatamkan. My feeling, sungguh aku tak suka jaulah. Ada pulak homesick time2 jaulah. Sadis. Ditambah pula dengan kes pickpocket yang melibatkan sahabat sejaulah, memang menjunamkan mood berjaulah yang memang di takat negatif. Tapi, well, at least aku dah jejak kaki kat tempat2 tu jadi tak menyesal kot di kemudian hari.

Di Venice, Italy

Seriously, sekarang tengok2 gambar baru macam, eyh, lawanya tempat yang aku pergi ni! Waktu kat sana fikir nak balik sajork. Sobs.

Next update, baru selesai menjadi ajk yang menjayakan WOW 2013. Apa itu WOW? It stands for Wonderful Overseas Weekend. Alaa.. pre-departure program untuk sahabat2 yang nak fly. Okay ini sangat awesome! Penceramah jemputan yang datang bukan calang2 orangnya, mantap kot. Haish, takyah nak explain lagi, watch this video! 

Best kan3.......... hehe.

Seronok tengok para peserta yang sangat matang dalam menerima apa yang para penceramah sampaikan. They really have a good insight. Semoga pengembaraan kalian dipermudahkan Allah swt.

Okay dah habis update.

Actually, raya ketiga ni dah kena balik Ireland sebab kena repeat paper. Ottoke!!!!!!

Itulah! kenapa tak belajar elok2 sayang oiiiii. Kan dah kena repeat. Tapi seriously, serik kot! Okay, I promise to myself, saya akan belajar elok2, taknak repeat2 dah..... 

Ya Allah, permudahkanlah urusan hamba Mu ini. T.T

Wassalam

Bought Books at Amazon

Assalamualaikum w.b.t ...................................

Last weekssss, I bought books at Amazon. How can it happen?

Well, I was fb-ing when I supposed to study. Yeah, fb seems more appealing when the exam is near. And it will be much more appealing on the night before the exam. (=,=)

Then I saw a post by Yasmin Mogahed, she is a famous Muslimah writer, blogger, motivator,,,,, I like her because she had a good insight of life. She posted about her book 'Reclaim Your Heart' that is on sale in Amazon.com. And I was like,  SALE!!!

So, yeah, I bought the book............................... and also another two books. One part of me said "oh my money..................... T.T" and another part of me said  "It's okay they are good books". And also added by exam stress (kononnya), I spent my money on them.

And just now, I got them!!!!! Happy........... happy.........................

Eager to see what are inside

Almost there..

Adrenalin rush.. yeeha!

Saja posing buku

Doakan semoga aku khatam semua ni :)

Alhamdulillah.. Ya Rahman ya Raheem............. <3

Wassalam. \\(^o^)

Blessed Jumu'ah

Assalamualaikum,,

Actually, I just want to fill m time by blogging. FB seems bored, twitter is over capacity (what the heck!). Twitter even checking whether I am a 'human'. Ha.. ha.. so funny. (=,=)

So, I just finished my FM1002 anatomy spot test. And now I was like "bismillahi tawakkaltu 'alaAllah". I don't want to put my hope high because in my previous assessment, my marks is like.................. *crying.

I should prepare for my biochem and physiology now but ottoke, no mood~~~~~~

Today is such  bless. When I was so terrified this morning, I managed to speak with my mum on the phone. She's good at touching people's hearts with words, in this case, positively. :') so, yeah.. I feel loved~

Then when I sat on the first floor at WGB, Kak Atiq and Kak Aisyah passed by. I considered it as a miracle because I never met them at WGB. WGB means Western Gate Building at University College Cork. Heehee.. they also gave me their soothing words and support. And it really helps a lot! I feel loved again.

I was in the last group so I finished my test quite late. And I was terribly hungry that I decided to cook some instant noodle because it's quick and delicious. Then I reached my home and you know what? I smelled TOMYAM!!!!!!! Nik, my housemate cooked tomyam and white rice. And I ate happily. When my tummy happy, I'm happy!

Kak Kinah will go to Palestine next week. I'm quite worried abot her but I believe that Allah will protect her. I hope that one day I will be courageous like her and fight for Islam. May Allah put us among the people He loved.

Ameen ya Rabbal 'Alameen..

Sasterawati Wannabe

Assalamualaikum..

I was planning to make entries about my winter trips. But then I got bored and do something else.
Sasterawati wannabe. lol

How is it? Okay? I know it got some flaws but hey, I'm happy me happy..

Wassalam..

Celebrating My 20th Birthday For A week!

Assalamualaikum,,

Last 9th December was my birthday. The word 'birthday' makes it all sweet and joyful but unfortunately, the number 20 turns all of them into bitterness. Bittersweet enough?

Why a week? Because I keep getting presents through a whole week. I'm a happy lady~

Because I had a test on 10th of December, I'm not celebrating it merrily. Just some wishes and hugs. I closed my fb wall so that nobody can post freely on it before and forgot to open it back. People had to try different ways to wish me. Some gave me their wishes through private messages, some friends had to write on their own wall and tagged my name in it, and some even wish on the comment section. I am so touched by their efforts. It means that I had some values in their life. And I forgot to mention, some friends did their wishes on twitter and whatsapp. Talk about technology~ Thanks a million u olls <3

Apreciating the art!

ParTy
Some of my friends planned a surprise party for me. I was told that it is the weekly QC but honestly, I already can guessed that they are planning something. So.. HaPpY BiRtHdAy to Me~~~~~`

Nice card. Isn't it?

They prepared curry noodles. Yummy~ Delicious!

Yummy foods!

 When my tummy happy, I'm happy!

My cake cutting technique needs to be polished

                                 

Then, cake time! Ekin was so excited feeding me with cake so

 she made my cheek eat the cake. My cheek!

Dayah doing the same thing to Ami..

Ami gave me my presents.. beautiful blue light. It is so beautiful, caused jealousy from everyone, including Ami, the giver.  =_="

Nice under the light

More beautiful in darkness

Me

Me and Afiqah

Me and Dayah

Some dramas..

 Bajet merajuk dengan Ami. :3

Dayah, the only one seems normal.

Comel tak? Cakap comel cepat!   

A normal pose.. At last!

 Sweet unlimited <3

 With Fatiema~

For the group photo moments.......

 Tak jadi tak jadi!

                                             Comel.. boleh la.

May Allah bless all of you <3

PrEsEnTs

Well.. I got a lot of presents this year. Millions of gratitude to all of you..

 
                                   

Thanks Allah for this blessings.. Alhamdulillah..